More Super Heroes: Iron Man

Today's moviemaking magic makes it a snap to bring Tony Stark and Iron Man to the big screen. Nice teaser poster, but 2008 is a long ways away.

The Rewind Reel

The past couple of weeks have been all about seeing films again. It's a mood that strikes me once in a while. This is when a film library of 1,000+ titles comes in handy.

No big reviews here, just the title, a rating and a few lines.

Die Hard - 3.5/4 stars - Holds up

John McClane is timeless, as are the explosions, but it's Alan Rickman's Hans Gruber that makes Die Hard memorable. It's still one of the iconic action/suspense films ever made.

GlenGarry GlenRoss - 3.5/4 stars - Holds up

Nothing flashy here, unless you would classify "acting your socks off" as flashy. A powerful cast tears through the David Mamet signature screenplay with gusto. Outside of his mafia films, this is Pacino's best work. The rest of the cast, including Kevin Spacey, Ed Harris, Jack Lemmon and the scene-stealing Alec Baldwin keep pace with Al.

Full Metal Jacket - 3/4 stars - Mostly holds up

I've been less enamored of FMJ than many other people, but I think that's simply a testament to the quality of films about war and the men whose lives are changed because of it. FMJ remains a very strong film, but alongside others (such as The Thin Red Line, All Quiet on the Western Front, Patton, Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, and even the Band of Brothers miniseries) it's one very good film among many. In the Kubrick pantheon, it's a clear follower to many others.

The Princess Bride - 3.5/4 stars - Holds up

I'll cop to being a fan. There are just so many quotes and scenes in TPB that it's a favorite. It's not the best film, admittedly. The acting isn't outstanding, and the film's momentum keeps getting killed by the fast-forward device of storytelling. However, TPB is FUN, and good fantasy yarns are very hard to come by. Mandy Patinkin's Inigo Montoya is worth half a star all by himself.

Sky High - 3/4 stars - Holds up

The most recent "rewatchee" of this crop, it's amusing that this lightly-regarded Disney film is better constructed than the massively-hyped X3 and Superman Returns. The story is simple and familiar, but the treatment applied is energetic and reasonable. The ensemble cast gives a spirited performance and it's easy to lose yourself in the fast pace of the film. Sky High is a criminally overlooked film in the superhero genre.

Tetsuya Nomura's Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (1/4 stars)

Two words: fans only.

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children is not so much a feature film as it is an extended series of FMV cutscenes that would be more at home tacked onto the end of the eponymous popular videogame.

The main reason for this is the story. Someone who hasn't played the FF7 game would have no hope of understanding what the hell is going on. Heck, I finished FF7 back in the day, and I had trouble picking up the story without the help of the subtitles and some real hard thinking.

Essentially, you have FF7's main character, Cloud Strife, meeting some elements of the game's main source of evil (the alien Jenova) which eventually turn into the game's iconic villan, Sepiroth.

Yeah, it's all a big excuse for one more (anticlimactic) battle between a videogame's hero and villan. Spice up with a few head-scratching cameos of other characters, add in a lot of impressive CGI flash, and that's Advent Children.

Bottom Line: Unless you're a FF7 fan, you can pass. Even if you are, don't expect any deep storylines here. It's just eye candy.

Not so Super: Bryan Singer's Superman Returns (2.5/4 stars)

I first need to state that Superman is a bitch of a character to write for. Depending on which incarnation of Supes is under discussion, his powers range from demigod-like to limitless. He has three known weaknesses - kryptonite (well-known), magic (less known) and aliens just as, if not more, powerful than himself (the three Kryptonianas from Supes II count I guess).

I haven't really followed Supes in the funnies over time, but I do know that his highlights revolve around the above three challenges (including his "death") and the loss of the less-than-super people he loves (hi Lois and Lana).

So, knowing that the overexposed and completely non-super Lex Luthor was going to be the main villain in Bryan Singer's much-awaited effort, I kept my expectations down.

Good thing I did. Otherwise, I might have experienced a bigger letdown.

The New Super 'R'

Routh does a credible job as Supes, his digitally-reduced 'package' notwithstanding. Not a lot of lines. His Clark is sufficiently dorky. He has enough presence to command the screen and create sparks with his Lois, Kate Bosworth. Kate also turns in a decent if unspectacular job in her limited role.

Spacey attempts to tear up some scenery as Luthor, but the tone of the film seems to have derailed his performance a bit. I enjoyed some Spacey moments, but in the inevitable comparison with Hackman, Kevin falls just short. The film itself was just a bit campy, and his performance was a bit campier than the film's tone. The mix didn't feel right. And honestly, his lines were pretty much unmemorable.



Not-so-super story

Superman Returns is, at its heart, a love story. Kal's love for Lois is the only human thing about him, and it's the only way you can connect with Supes. While it's not much of a hook considering the larger-than-life scope of the film, this aspect of the story was solid. One of the best scenes was Supes taking Lois on a walk... errr... fly... to apologize for disappearing on her.

Much of the story was slow and rather unexciting. The Luthor conflict was a throwaway. C'mon, stealing Kryptonian crystals to raise a new (really ugly) continent and expecting people to PAY to live there? Singer's a pretty good director, but that story arc is just awful. It makes no sense. A lot of little things don't either, like no one noticing that Supes and Clark return from five-year absences at the same time. Lois left her cell phone in the car, and took her kid into a situation of unknown peril? Luthor not going apeshit over Kitty for dumping the crystals, despite being quite happy at the prospect of killing billions of people?

Does not compute. This is the greatest failing of Superman Returns.

You always have the effects

yes. Luckily, you can toss a few disasters in Superman's way and get some decent cinematic flash out of the digital effects folks. The shuttle scene was fun. The quake, not so much. The Superman flying effects were nice (hear the cape crackle) but it's no more impressive than watching Your Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman swing through New York City. We already expect the effects to be the best that 2006 has to offer, so no extra points are gained.

Bottom Line: It could have been so much more, but Superman Returns risks very little in terms of story and it drops the ball in many aspects of it. The effects are good but not great, the characters are competent but not compelling, and the film overall is decent but in no way essential.

Bear on a Motherfracking Bus!

Jeremy Slater did it.